(This is the official site of author Tarah L. Wolff - click here to see my books)
PART ONE

Checking up on Bridget

I asked her, "Where is your heart?" and she pointed to a corner of her kitchen and said, "It's there - I figure another week might be enough." And it was there, in a splatter of bright red blood on the black and white linoleum. It was nearly ripped in two and every time it beat the two folds fluttered like a coughing sea creature on dry land. >> keep reading

THANK YOU

This is all about You

You learned long ago that any choice you made would not be touched by another person's hand in your life; regrets then only fall on your own self, and that is good, for there is never, and never will be, anyone else to blame. Be alone in this as it is the simplest truth and the hardest truth. No one else is to blame. Do not let them sway your >> keep reading

BOOK RELEASE

Embraced by Darkness

So, I have finally finished and released my first book. Life is good accordingly . . . Wow, I have never spent so many hours on something in my entire life to be rewarded with so little. No, I'm not complaining, but I will warn all self published writers from here on out that just the process of trying to get out press releases >> keep reading

A New Year

This Is All About Me, This Is All About You

“I’m sorry but what you’re offering (what you love and think is so amazing in your life) actually makes me want to vomit and I would most certainly choose to take a bullet then have to live your life (or, even worse, have to live your despicable life WITH YOU). That’s just the way it is. And, ya know what? I bet you would feel the exact same way if I offered my life to you. When did people become so CERTAIN? So SELF ENTITLED? Who told you that you were right? Who told you that we are the same that what works for you would just HAVE to work for me as well? Who convinced you that everyone else’s life is broken and yours is not? Do you really need to attempt to make wrongs out of everyone else to convince yourself that you are right?”

9

So, my darling, how are you? Did the end of 2013 come as a relief? Did you feel like you were a refugee from some far off war, covered in dirt and blood and close to starvation as you crawled across the line into safety (finally!). Or did 2013 leave you refreshed, revitalized, eager to see where it will take you into 2014? Both scenarios leave you in the same place. Whether 2013 beat the ever fucking shit out of you or left you happy, 2014 brings hope that we’ll either see an improvement in our lives, or the good times will just keep coming. Both are better than the alternative. Or are you the alternative? Do you believe 2014 will be your last year? Will this be your last new year rung? And, if it is, will you cherish this more then you had in the past? Did you say I love to all that will miss you? Will you miss this?

It is strange how a new year does seem to bring hope. Something about the change of that one little number (a 3 to a 4) seems to mark something far more vast then the sum of its parts. But did the new year changing over ever actually do anything for us except an overall feeling in our pretty little heads? Maybe that is not the point, however, as whether it is in our heads or not I believe that hope (in any form) is something to grab a hold of and never let go. I don’t do the new years resolution thing but I will say that coming to the end of this year feels like my final coming through it and getting to the other side. Through what you ask? Everything. And I do mean everything. Trudging through shit takes a lot of time. I was offered many lives (most of them on silver platters) that I knew would have driven me to nothing short of suicide if I had accepted. I hurt people when I said No, thanks, that isn’t for me. I pissed a lot of people off when I told them I wanted nothing of what they offered. Strange how people never hear you when you tell them that just because it isn’t for you doesn’t make it bad, it just isn’t for you. You’re not judging them. We only get one shot at this and I’m not settling for anything short of exactly what I want in my life (and neither should you, or you, or you).

My first and foremost certainty (something I knew at a VERY young age) was that no man (or woman) would ever be able to give me what I wanted out of life. I.E.: Get that fucking silver platter out of my face before I shove it down your throat like you’re trying to do to me. I find that doesn’t really come off as a very popular response. When will people realize that their idea of what other people should be doing with their lives is total and complete nonsense? I’m sorry but what you’re offering (what you love and think is so amazing in your life) actually makes me want to vomit and I would most certainly choose to take a bullet then have to live your life (or, even worse, have to live your despicable life WITH YOU). That’s just the way it is. And, ya know what? I bet you would feel the exact same way if I offered my life to you. When did people become so CERTAIN? So SELF ENTITLED? Who told you that you were right? Who told you that we are the same that what works for you would just HAVE to work for me as well? Who convinced you that everyone else’s life is broken and yours is not? Do you really need to attempt to make wrongs out of everyone else to convince yourself that you are right? How pitiful.

I once had someone claim that they would tell everyone I knew what kind of person I am and what kind of terrible path I’m on (oh and I’ll get what I’ve got coming to me I’m sure). I told them to go ahead. Tell everyone. Please do. I want banners across the street damnit! Of course, nothing ever happened. (Their excuse was that everyone in my life probably knew what kind of wretched person I was already. Lol Of course they do! I’m just their kind of wretched person!) They were mad – took it personal even when I tried to tell them that just because what they were offering wasn’t for me, didn’t make it wrong. Of course, they told me that I was a stupid piece of shit and that I was wrong and on the wrong path etc etc etc (not to my face of course). I wished them the best and hope (to this day) I never have to converse with them ever again. The amount of self entitlement, the lack of respect, the controlling, the bitterness and the laziness of people like that leave me feeling dirty. Quite frankly if you need to convince yourself (and them) that everyone else is wrong to justify you’re own decisions I don’t think you deserve this life that you were given.

WE ALL DESERVE TO GET WHAT WE WANT – BUT, WITH PEOPLE, WE ONLY GET TO ASK. AND WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ANGERED BY THEIR ANSWER IN ANY WAY. (Even if it disappoints us doesn’t mean it is the wrong answer.)

Anger is just love disappointed. Fair enough, I can see that, but you still have no right to be angry. There are millions of people in this world (bigots or saints or healers just like you) who will gladly embark on some crazy adventure in the amazon with three hundred other followers. Quite frankly people THERE IS SOMEONE FOR EVERYONE – would you just grow a pair and get the fuck over yourselves already!? Not everyone is gonna be into you and anger is not a proper response.

If you are with someone who exhibits the above signs I would suggest you leave promptly. Anyone, male or female, who would belittle, call horrible names, scream about, spread rumors about, try to destroy in any conceivable way, their ex (or anyone) for no good reason – GET THE HELL OUT. Don’t get me wrong here, (I want to make sure I’m clear) we usually leave relationships with a certain amount of anger (some of it is justified most of it is just bull shit etc.) that’s perfectly natural. And, there are times when we have a LEGITIMATE reason to be angry. Say I had a guy that beat me or hit my dog or something, embarrassed me etc. yeah, I got a right to be mad (but it is way past time to get over it… just saying). But if you are considering getting into a relationship with someone who is essentially angry, malignant, venomous – about their ex and for no reason except that the other person just didn’t want to be with them. I would really suggest you think twice. That low life needs to grow the fuck up. The average person will have eight romantic relationships in their lifetimes – for those folks who can’t accept that things don’t always work out that is a helluvalota anger. Calling their ex a bitch because s/he didn’t want to be with them, that’s a sign of a controlling piece of shit. (I’m willing to bet the day before the breakup their ex was the most wonderful human being on the planet, I can’t see how that can change over night) I don’t know about you but since the first guy I spent more then two minutes with, I always listen when they talk about their exes. Anyone who would call another human being a waste of time is not mature enough for a relationship.

So, what is an okay response? I’m likely to go with Anything but anger. But, honestly, with the good people that I’ve kept with me (and who stayed to put up with me) the response about their exes (even the really bad ones) was the same. The good people just expressed regret, sadness and even a certain amount of guilt. Even in situations when anger was justified, the good people end up just sad. And then they move on. They even go so far as to take blame where it is not deserved so the break can be left behind as soon as possible. So they can find their smile again.

I don’t know about you, but that’s my kind of people. My Beloved has been helping me learn how to smile and let things go, but mostly just smile. Now that’s the type of person to take home with you. Ask yourself, would they rather be angry or smiling? Would you rather be with someone with so little of their own character and humanity that they have to belittle someone else just for disagreeing with them?

Newest from Tarah L. Wolff

Embraced by Darkness

Sacrifices

Available now in paperback and on the Kindle

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