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We’ve all been there and the silent (yet horrific noise) of that moment is absolutely deafening. Or maybe its just the sound of your heart pounding in your ears as you begin to panic out of sheer, utter, terrible frustration. Whatever the sound it makes, its a biggy, and its the epitome of the writer’s nightmare. We don’t think of these moments when we decide writing is the most awesomeness thing (by 1000% mind you) in the whole fricken world. No, when we finally realize we’re writers and decide to truly start taking this business seriously, that’s when we’re cruising along without a care in the world; when the story feels like it’s literally writing itself. Problem is, that’s not usually how writing works. Yes, that moment usually occurs at one point or another, but, most of the time, we’re just hacking away at it, and, even worse, every now and again, we get stuck in a wall. And it does seem to be we usually spend equal amounts of stuck as we do cruising with every book we will ever write. But maybe that’s the only real saving grace here: remember you will probably get an equal amount of fun cruising time too.

So, how do we deal with getting unstuck without ripping all of our hair out? Actually this is a moment that often reminds me of computer problems. It takes eight hours to figure out the fix that actually only takes about 8 minutes to apply. This is similar to writing. The problem is, unlike computer problems where the fix is absolute and something that could be figured out instantly, getting unstuck is often as much about your state of mind as it is an actual problem.

First thing is first: Get the hell away from it for a little while.

Second thing: Determine whether or not you’re not just stuck on trying to find that one perfect word idiocy. Its easy to do, sometimes you just need to skip the scene and move on to the next before you can perfect this one and figure out that one little word.

Third thing: Is it you? Seriously now, if your outline is solid, if you know where you’re going, it could just be you needing a break. I’ll say it again: get the hell away from it for a little while because this is not a legitimate stuck, you might just need some time to let your mind catch up to the story if you’ve been working on it a lot.

Fourth thing: You have a real problem. Your plot is going one way and its right the frick outta your outline and would cause drastic changes throughout the chapters you’ve already written. Sorry, Honey, no easy way around this. My recommendation? Keep writing, let the plot take you, don’t you dare stop inspiration by trying to force your story into your outline. Sometimes they run and, in my experience, that is always a good thing accept that it generally causes a huge amount of more work for you.

Fifth thing: You’re actually stuck on how to describe a scene. You’re even having trouble deciding who should be the main character in it. This is classic and this is a problem that has happened to a million writers before you. The only real solution I’ve found? Write them all and then decide which one works best, you may even have to have someone else read each version to help you decide (often your readers in this case will choose a version you never would have chosen, let alone written, it can be very eye opening). Do something wild to get your head opened up, write the scene from an inanimate objects point of view, I wonder what that plant thinks of your lead character prancing around drunk as can be?

The most important thing to remember is this: Have some confidence. Before you start any kind of large project (where stuckedness is very possible) get all of your ducks in a row, know your characters and know where you book is going to end and get that outline written!

Let’s face it, writing is a lonely calling. We don’t do it with someone looking over our shoulder. Even when we need help and look for answers to our own toughest plot questions, its still, in the end, our own lonely project that no one will understand as deeply as we do and, hence, we are the only people who can solve our most difficult writing problems.

So, why is this a good thing?

I’m going to start by initially saying that this can and should be a good thing. Your writing may end up being your most personal act with yourself (haha, yeah, that sentence could be used in other circumstances. . .) but this can be extremely daunting. Embracing the fact that your writing is yours, and yours alone, is the first step to beating just how utterly daunting writing can be. We don’t start as writers seeing or knowing this fact. Instead we start as writers inspired, typing away, giddy, excited, with the words flowing out of us like Niagara Falls. We don’t come face to face with how utterly alone we are, with this huge book project, until we run into problems. And it is in that moment when we realize that we are up against an enormous plot responsibility with no one to turn to.

What you shouldn’t do

Being a part of a writers’ group (Jackpine Writers) has left me some insight on the worst choice we can make in our own lonely desperation: Turning to others can be outrageously destructive. I also think turning to others is probably our first instinct when we face the abyss. So, why not turn to others, especially other writers, you ask? Because they don’t know your book, nor your plot, nor your initial hope for its future and editing. They can, and probably will, give you terrible advice. They won’t do this purposefully but they have no way of understanding your project like you do. No one does. Advice is a very dangerous thing for something that is so personal. And the worst advice you will ever receive will be, absolutely, from other writers. This is, once again, not at all intentional but a writers first instinct when approached with a writing project that has problems and is unfinished, is to simply apply to it the kind of changes they themselves would personally make as writers. That would be fine, except that it’s not their project, its yours.

How to go it alone

So, you’re going it alone, just like when you started writing in the beginning. Except now its not any fun, its difficult, it makes your head feel like its going to split down the middle. When I face this kind of situation in my own writing life I follow a check list to help me get out of it.

Take a deep breath and get away from it for a little while - Seems obvious doesn’t it? But often our most difficult problems will evaporate after a good nights sleep or a week entirely away from our own writing.

Get some perspective - I don’t personally really write in chapters, instead I deal in a more Stephen King-esque numbering sequence but, regardless, you might have a plot problem but getting back to the bones of your story and reminding yourself where the heck you’re going can be extremely helpful. Ask yourself, how is the book going to end? And then, how was this chapter going to end? How was this scene going to end? Don’t let a runaway plot keep your from the bones.

Separate your main characters - This is something I have found absolutely invaluable in the past. If you have multiple characters that move between each other throughout the book, pull those characters out and make separate books out of their own stories. This saved me when writing the first Embraced by Darkness book, I was able to focus on each of my main characters exclusively, making it a far less daunting book to work on.

The point is to put your book into a position where its not such a difficult piece of work, this can be done strictly by getting some perspective, or by physically pulling that book a part and working on separate plots individually. Oftentimes we just need to change how we look at things.

But can’t advice help at all?

Of course it can, don’t get me wrong about that one, I have been a part of a writers’ group and I have been given some really great advice. But it has never been about plot. Our writers group has one strict rule, no comments about subject. We critique the writing, the sentence structure, grammar choices, word choices etc. But we are aware, as writers, that our own personal choices about plot: are just that, our own. Sometimes though just talking it out can really help. In this case I have my awesome mom who would tell you she is not a writer, she’s a reader! I’ve found that her advice has been the most helpful and I believe its absolutely because she’s not a writer. So my advice would be to find your own nonwriters who love you, understand you (heh, to some extent anyway. . .) and will openly listen and try to help as best they can. Non-writers have one great thing going for them, they don’t know any of the rules about writing so they can’t apply them to you. I just love those folks who start with, “Well, I see how your book isn’t following the blah blah blah guide of writing a novel. Have you read that book?” Writers are great at advice that its too late to apply. Nonwriters/readers however, you need one of those on your side, someone to talk it through with. Find one.

Let’s face it, most of the planet is not going to like your writing, even more than that, they are REALLY not going to like your book. There actually might even be haters out there. Yeah, you heard me, haters. Straight up, they are going to despise your book and many for no good reason other than that they read it at the wrong time, on the wrong day when they just happened to be a touch constipated. And they will never ever recommend your book, they will never give it a second chance and you will never reach them. In the worse case scenario however, they will reach other potential readers and discourage them and what is really great about haters is that the only ones that will bother to review your book, or even tell anybody they picked it up, are the ones that REALLY hated it.

We all make our own flavors

But, that’s ok. That’s the way it is. You wouldn’t like their writing either. Don’t think about them, don’t focus on them, let it go. Not everybody is going to get you at all. It may be unfair and even a good few of them (had they read your book on that “right” day) would have liked it. But that’s how most readers read and when people read (you and me included) we’re looking for immediate gratification and, if we don’t get exactly what we’re looking for, we toss it. And that doesn’t necessarily mean it was bad writing. Writers can make better or worse readers. I’ve known writers who don’t read much because nothing is up to their standards. I also know writers who are like me, who can’t read enough, who actually flat out revel in all literature, the good, the bad, and the ugly. To me words are a drug and almost every flavor out there does something for me.

We are all affected differently

But that is simply not the case for most people. You are producing a certain flavor, some flavors go over better with more audiences then others. Take example: a cook book versus a character-driven five hundred page sci-fi, which one are more people gonna buy? Accepting this fact right away and immediately is one of the first steps to becoming (what I consider) a “professional” writer. We’re all writers but a lot of us never leave the closet, seeming to think of our work as fine wine “ya never know, the longer it gathers dust, maybe it’ll somehow get better!” I consider Stephen King one of the greatest writers of all time. Many writers laugh at this. And I laugh back at them. I am sad they can’t enjoy the wonders of Stephen King, but I am elated that I get to. I have no problem having my own tastes and I can completely enjoy them without company. But, I am a writer, and writing is done mostly alone so I’m used to enjoying things alone. You are a writer and your writing will first be enjoyed by you and you cannot, ever, let anyone, take that away from you.

You wouldn’t like ‘em anyway…

We’re talking about your own personal flavor now and, because of that, it’s easier to take offense when people do not like what you write but that is entirely why you don’t have any reason to take offense. Let’s say you probably would like to hang out with one in twenty people you meet on the street. That one in twenty may or may not like you and may or may not like your writing too. But the other nineteen you couldn’t get along with them if your life depended on it, so why would it offend you if they didn’t like your writing? Of course they won’t, you wouldn’t like their writing either.

So we land in the same place all of the writers before us land. You can’t take it personal. How many times have you heard that one? Well, if you’ve been around writing for a while like I have, oh eight billion, and most of those from myself. The point is to understand how to take criticism and understand who its coming from. For example: My boyfriend is reading my fantasy novel. A novel written by a woman. About women. It’s character driven and literary to some extent. There is action, though not right away. So, I am not offended by the fact that he’s not devouring it, I expected that. He might be my target man but he is not my target reader.

So, lighten up, focus not on the people who would probably never like your writing (even on a good day) focus on YOUR reader. Imagine them, see them in your mind. Is it a gal or guy? What’s their general age? Do they need to be English teachers to enjoy your writing? Or Construction workers? Know who your audience is and focus, focus, focus, on them. After that you have the opportunity to broaden that focus and attempt to pull more people in.

I have always been just like everybody else when it comes to the whole “new year” thing. I reflect, I regret, I smile in thank you that I survived another year and I am shocked at how fast it went. Pretty typical. But that doesn’t make it any less real and actual to me for emotions are emotions. I will probably cry when the new year is counted down, kiss my boyfriend, hug him and say thanks no matter how bruised and bloodied I might be over the actions of others and my own failures of the year before. There are some people in this world that sit down and even write a list on what went right, what failed and, finally, what they need to do throughout the next year. I have attempted to be this organized and have always found that such stringent planning, at least in my life, have been utterly futile. I have many things to be thankful for and that is enough. I decided to devote this blog entry to my writing lessons this past year and support them with quotes:

The longer the writing project, the deeper and more debilitating the page fright … The mistake, I think, is to strive to banish doubt, to see it as the enemy. Just as courage has no meaning without fear, faith has no meaning without doubt. They’re the yin and yang of all aspiration. — Dennis Palumbo

I love this quote. It reminds me that doubt is natural and will never go away. Instead of attempting to demolish doubt one needs to learn how to write and live around it. Courage is the key. Courage is doing it anyway even though you are scared shitless. The courageous people are not the ones who are without fear, they are the ones that do it anyway. Simply put and amazing and very inspiring. Doubt is natural, so is fear, they will stand with me for the rest of my life and I hope that I have the courage to stand hand in hand with them and let them teach me how to be stronger.

Don’t say the old lady screamed – bring her on and let her scream. — Mark Twain

Love, love, love this quote! I can totally see this old woman, I can hear her heart pumping in terror and panic. Bring her on and let her scream! No kidding, show don’t tell because I want to be standing beside her with my ears ringing, I want to feel my own body panic and cringe.

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re probably right. — Henry Ford

This is going back to the subject of fear and doubt. If you don’t think you can do it then how could you? And this is where I believe fear and doubt both have the power to make us stronger. Fighting them is futile, learning to live with them and accept them is where courage grows.

You think you want space and order, but sometimes pressure and disorder is more fruitful. — Nicci Gerrard

This is incredibly inspirational for me. As a writer how many times have you thought, “if I could just get some quiet time, turn the phone and the spouse and the kids and the pets off, then I could write well.” This is nothing but an excuse not to write because, quite frankly, that’s not ever gonna happen. And the truth is that in that pressure and noise, we do have a chance to become our most brilliant.

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language/And next year’s words await another voice. …/And to make an end is to make a beginning. — T.S. Eliot

So, let us allow the past to fall into an ended chapter in our own books, something published and over that can never be tinkered with again. No more editing, no more touching or adjusting, this is it, put the pen down, no point in going back to it like a tongue on a broken tooth. Our past is what made us, what should never be forgotten, but what can never be changed again and the best idea I’ve ever heard is to consider this ending as only another beginning, and may be this one might be the very best beginning we have ever had.

To be inspired is to laugh at doubt and fear, to be inspired is to let your heart lead you. To never let another person tell you that you are romanticized — Tarah L. Wolff

I would like to end this blog post with my very favorite quote of all time:

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.