The blog of fantasy fiction author and writer Tarah L. Wolff

My mom flew down to Oklahoma for a few days and we just drove home. Miss Joseph terribly already and missed out (by only 2 days) the laying of brand new carpet throughout the majority of our house. It sucks royally, we’ve worked on that house for 3 1/2 years and that carpet was a true turning point of the finishing of the whole thing. Tough not to see it when it first went in, but I’ll live. To add insult to injury I don’t know if you’ve been around the midwest at all the past week, or even watched the news but the entirety of the midwest was hit, all of a sudden like (no one forecasted it), by a gigantic, slow, north moving storm. So, I got to drive through the whole fucking thing. 1,100 miles, 18 hours of hydroplaning and gripping the wheel like I was going to save our lives. I’m still totally exhausted two days later.

To add Insult to Injury (again)

We’ve been having some hard times in Oklahoma. We’ve been betrayed and back stabbed by someone we thought was our friend. We have been receiving threats to such an extent that I am a heart beat away from calling the police and filing a report. Joseph has bought himself a gun and has a conceal and carry license. We both live a little bit now in wait for the final conclusion to this whole thing. You may notice that I don’t sound scared. I’ve learned well in my life that the louder the asshole is and the worse the lies he claims: the bigger the pussy he actually is. And, in this case, that’s absolutely correct. Joseph and I are both waiting for him to back up his threats but neither of us expect him to ever have the balls to do it. The threats stopped for a while but the moment I left my house to drive back north he started in on threatening Joseph again.

Really? Scared of a girl, huh?

Well, I don’t blame him, if I was him, after everything that he’s said about me, I would be scared of me too. He’s attacked everything about our lives, our jobs, even our house and our loyalty to each other. He claims that our lives are horrible and that he’s amazingly happy. That he has an incredible job where he’s making a fortune compared to our measly salaries. That his house is worth twice what ours is and that includes everything that he owns, right down to his cars and his wife and child. Joseph and I are looking at each other and we have to laugh. Because if we’re so poor and our lives are so horrible when we’re actually making more money than he is, our cars are worth more, our house is worth more (and I’m not even going to get into the asshole’s excessive drug and alcohol abuse) and we have such a great relationship that we actually trust each other. Isn’t he actually saying then that our worst is not even the best that he can do? I guess it’s a good thing that he’s happy then. It’s unbelievably sad and I’ve never pitied anyone more. When we don’t reply, he thinks he’s won and we haven’t truly replied yet, not like we could. He may want to hurt us, but we can’t be so cruel as to rub our incredible fortune in finding each other into his face. I want to be that bitch but I’m just not. So Joseph and I bite our tongues and hope he’s not stupid enough to force us to pull the trigger.

So here is a toast to every lying piece of shit trailer trash that you were ever stupid enough to trust. Take it from me, if there is a creature like this in your life, arm yourself and sleep well, because everybody else knows that they’re lying dog shit too. Regardless of what they say about you. And we all know that people that deserve something wicked coming to them, always get it in the end. Get as far away as you can, because assholes like that tend to pass what they have coming right on to everything around them, especially their friends and the people that they love.

Not great for work on the book though.

Nope, been too damned busy for work on the book. I have several folks I’ve contacted through Deviantart now that are awaiting my reply about their doing a commission. But, I know the only way the commission could ever be done is if they read the book first and it’s just not ready yet! Damnit! I need to work on it and I have the changes at my left elbow just waiting for me. There actually aren’t a lot, no more than a few hours of work (and you know by now that a few hours of work for me on this beast is literally nothing in comparison to how much time I’ve already spent). But I’m just still so shot from the drive and I want a cigarette too because I feel like shit even though I’m not a smoker. (Boyfriend’s a smoker, sometimes it’s hard not to have one too.)  On top of all that I have one HUGE weekend coming up.

I gotta pay the bills somehow and I’m meeting some folks I did a website design for to show them how to use it etc. I think I’m becoming more and more of the a-typical writer. I do fine with people but I loathe gatherings; they exhaust me, and after that drive all I want to do is curl up at home for two weeks and accomplish absolutely nothing.

But I’m going to try after I write this!

I am going to work on my book at least a little today before my mom gets home from work. Tonight my aunt is coming over and we’re having my Minnesota birthday party after my golden birthday (turned 24 on the 24th of February) in Oklahoma. First time I was without my mom on my birthday, I love her and it was tougher than I thought it would be. Weird how when everything in your life either dies or changes how we revert back to the kids in us and just want our moms on our birthdays. I certainly did.

My aunt (Sharon), my mom (Marilyn), and I are all on the Editorial board for The Talking Stick again this year. Mom just as a substitute in case one of the other three people on the board can’t make it, or to be the deciding vote on something the five of us can’t agree on. It’s a good job and we all like it despite the massive amount of work. Over 160 writers submitted this year (most of them at least 3 things) and the stack of submissions looks like over a ream of paper. Insane and cool. After my birthday dinner and maybe some presents (lol, that’s a real joke, my family would never let anybody go without presents on their birthday, sometimes I feel like a spoiled brat, but then I remember.) we’re going to sit down and compare notes like we usually do before the big meeting when we decide what to put in the book. It helps refresh our memories on everything and think about what’s going to the judges this year too.

It’s a gigantic job but I like it every year and I’m always proud to be a part of it.

I’m looking for a cover designer for my book. I officially have a plan but it cannot begin until I have a fabulous cover for Embraced by Darkness. I have queried several artists I found through DeviantArt (my old stomping grounds) and have made some progress. One fantastic artist told me she does commissions for free but I sense she is suspecting something different than what I am going to throw at her. Most excellent digital artists on DeviantArt get commissions to do profiles sketches of fantasy-sci-fi game characters/not a big job in comparison to what I want on my book cover. After I get the cover done for my book I officialy have a plan.

That’s right – I have a plan.

The plan starts with me not being humble at all. I am a web designer and I know how to get to first page Google within two months. I also know how to create a website that sells. These things I have not considered thoroughly enough as being assets for selling becoming a published novelist. I came upon a pdf file of some poor writer who self-published through lulu and failed miserably (several times) the end of the pdf was that she was finally happy with her book covers and she sold a couple a month etc. I looked at her website and her book covers and could not believe she sold any a month. It also just so happens that I’ve been an editor and layout/print designer for eight years. Funny how until I read that pdf that none of this became very obvious to me. I have the experience in the industry to already know not to make the mistakes that she made. I also have enough experience in the industry that I know most people buy books online these days.

That’s right – Most people buy books online now.

Book stores are barely surviving. I know this because I’ve been in the industry close enough, for long enough, that most people buy online these days. And most of them buy used books from Amazon (if they’re smart -  I just bought a used Stephen King book for 1 cent yesterday).

On top of all of that my writers’ group (The Jackpine Writers’ Bloc) has several ISBNs more than they will ever need and are willing to give me one for free for my book. On top of that my aunt happens to be the most incredibly thorough editor I have ever seen and she’s already told me she would edit my book for me. Take note on my last sentence because on top of everything else I think this kind of editing is really what separates the shitty self published books from the publishing company books. Because of the cover, my layout design and Sharon’s professional editing. My book will not look self published but professionally finished. Also if I publish through Lulu with an ISBN I can use their marketing tools for free and that means: A Free Amazon Listing.

So Far I’ve Only Spent $15

That’s right. Only $15 and that’s for the domain registration because we have our own server and that means free hosting for me. Does it seem a little like I haven’t utilized the tools that have been given to me in the past? You’re damned right. But, I also haven’t had a finished book in the past so regardless of what I’m capable of: I won’t push or try to sell a book I’m not proud of. But now, if you haven’t noticed, I’m just about done with my book and I have the time and I can afford $15 to get my website up.

So, Here’s the Plan.

1. Register the domain embracedbydarkness.com ($15)
2. Commission an incredible bad-ass cover. ($?)
3. Get my aunt to edit my book for me. ($?)
4. Use the cover graphics to create a stunning website at the domain. ($0)
5. Launch the book on lulu (with lulu marketing) and the website ($0)
6. Pay per click advertising on Facebook using bad ass cover ($?)
7. Pay for banner advertising on DeviantArt using bad ass cover for 1 to forever ($20 per month)

Now, a couple of things I already have wrong that you may point out. First off, I really need to get my book on lulu and get lulu marketing going ASAP long before I do anything else (besides getting my domain name) because lulu marketing (getting my book in amazon listings etc.) can take up to eight weeks and I would really rather have all of the finished and set before I start paying for advertising. Regardless though, I won’t put my book up in lulu until the cover is finished so that’s priority #1 and, God knows, I’ve got absolutely no money. So, as I hope that someone may give me a commissioned cover for free, I know that that is really far fetched.

Wondering why I chose Deviantart Ads?

I bought Banner Advertising through Deviantart years ago when I was selling photography prints (or trying to). I sold a few but that wasn’t the point. The point was that I got over a thousand clicks a day for only $20 a month. It was impressive. And the Deviantart people are my kind of people. Most of them are fantasy gamers that are very much so online rats like the rest of us. In other words, the people on DA are the kind of people who would buy a fantasy book online, and God knows they would notice bad ass cover graphics in an ad and fucking click on it to take them to my even more bad ass website.

Meanwhile, I’m still working on Embraced by Darkness

I finished the first thorough read through and then speed read through the book again cutting and cutting and cutting. Last time I updated my blog the book was over 170,000 words now its down to about 163,000. That’s still not good enough for me. I am determined to cut the book down to at least 150,00 but if I could get it under 150,00 than I believe I’ll have a real something that I could sell to an agency or a publishing company.

But I’m not just cutting thoughtlessly: with every cut I am trying to improve the book. I am reading a book right now (because despite that I am pouring everything I’ve got into my own book I am always reading something besides) called Getting Into Character by Brandalinn Collins. It’s a book focusing on what a novelist can learn from actors on how to develop three dimensional characters. It’s really got me thinking and I’ve been jotting notes down while I read it in bed as I get ideas to change Embraced by Darkness, especially Osondrous, and make it more clear and focused.

I can’t tell you how much I look forward to being able to start a book from scratch. I have learned so much from having to go through this monster so many times. I know one thing for certain: I never want to have to do this again. Any book I write from here on out I am going to have a concise and very clear plan from start finish, from scene to scene. I will never write willynilly again. My boyfriends been joking, “At this point you could have just re-written the whole thing and not had so much damned editing and cutting to do.” Very depressingly, but at this point, he’s right. But there’s no going back now.

Meanwhile. Once the book is done. As you might imagine. I am going to be sending out to every Fantasy/Sci-fi agent I can find. Hopefully, somewhere, I am going to be noticed. What really terrifies me is that I better start working on the sequel.

It’s that time of the year again. The Jackpine Writers’ Bloc put out its call for submissions for The Talking Stick Volume 19 on January 1st. For those of you writers who are either from Minnesota, or have a close connection to the area, you should consider submitting. Winning prizes for each of the three categories (Fiction, Creative nonfiction and Poetry) is $500 and for second place it is $100. Not to mention all pieces that get chosen are read and critiqued by our fantastic celebrity judges. And there is no reading fee to submit.

Submission Guidelines

I both look forward to and loathe this time of the year. It’s always fun to be on the Editorial Board. When Sharon and I took over the work of The Talking Stick, our only condition was that we could always be on the Editorial board to choose the submissions every year. Without a doubt, it is the most enjoyable part of the process. On top of that, neither one of us wanted to have to work on a book for the rest of the year when we didn’t have a say as to what was being published or sent to the judges.

So, I’m on the Editorial Board again this year. The call for submissions ends March 1st so the five members on the Editorial Board will meet in March some time to determine what gets put in the book. It’s a long day for us. We’re given the submissions to read a week or two before we meet and just getting the submissions read through two or three times is the biggest job. Just imagine one to five submissions from nearly two hundred writers ranging anywhere from one page to fifteen pages each. Big job. But, I look forward to it every year. It’s wonderful to read other peoples writing, though, I admit, I don’t give the poor writers much of a chance.

I can’t help it. Last year, the fiction was gaggingly difficult to read. Fiction, every year, is always the poorest category. I have less and less tolerance for obvious mistakes that should be corrected before submitting. I just can’t believe that we, as editors, are offered so little respect that we’re sent works that were obviously never even read through a second time. Have writers no shame? No dignity? No consideration for the people that want to publish them?

And my biggest, deepest pet peeve, is the complete lack of respect of writers to even bother reading our submission guidelines. We literally have hundreds of works submitted by hundreds of writers to wade through – the submission guidelines are there to make our lives easier. For anyone here that is considering submitting to The Talking Stick, know this: You’re work will be thrown out  if you do not follow our submissions guidelines.

The worst thing you can do to an editor is vary from the default fonts of every Word Processor. Times, or Arial, will help you get published. Don’t use any other kind of font.

I’m going to go back to the subject of reading Fiction. I am apprehensive to attack the Fiction and it grows worse every year. I use to really try, sit down with every story and try to find the good. I’m no longer like that. Because I have become a fiction writer and it is my passion, I have absolutely no tolerance for stupid mistakes. I often wonder, don’t writers ever read? Because, so often when I’m reading terrible Fiction, the biggest mistake that is pointed out to me is the complete lack of knowledge. Sentence structure, story structure. A complete lack of Writing basics. Don’t writers ever read? And that leaves me even more ticked because it becomes obvious, with the very worst stories, that these writers don’t think they need to read. Don’t think they need to learn any kind of writing basics. They actually believe that their work is so incredible that they have nothing to learn.

Well, they have nothing worth publishing then either.

I’m sounding very cold-hearted. Fair enough. I am being cold-hearted but only because I am one of the other writers. The writer who has gone to every class, read every Pulitzer prize winning novel, tried to become a better writer, and year after year respected the craft and never submitted anything with so much as a single spell check error. Never submitted anything that hadn’t had hours of my blood, sweat and tears, poured into it. These other writers, aren’t writers in my opinion. These folks who think they can sit down and whip something up. These writers who half-ass it, not bothering even so much to learn what “Story Structure” means. They make the rest of us look bad.

Creative Nonfiction.

If there is one category we put off reading year after year. It is Creative nonfiction. As much as I loathe crappy fiction there is nothing worse than wading through hundreds of the most boring creative nonfiction you can imagine. Don’t get me wrong, there is good fiction and creative nonfiction in the book every year (works that are worth publishing). But, where the one main mistake fiction writers commit every year is not even knowing fiction writing basics, creative nonfiction writers make the mistake of writing something no one else can stay awake reading. In other words, writing something no one else could give a rats ass about. So often, we get memoir writing and not creative writing in any way. Where that writers family may get a kick out of that particular piece, the rest of us, who don’t know who Uncle Harry is, could give a rat’s ass. So, year after year, we all have loathed reading the creative nonfiction to such an extent that we finally reduced the word count by several hundred. Hallelujah! I’m actually looking forward to it this year because of that.

The most difficult choice. Print quality writing or a quality story?

It is the most difficult choice and it is getting worse by the year. Publish a boring, crap story that was written well or publish the terribly written decent story that kept us reading despite the sentence mistakes? It is a very hard choice. And this is usually where we have out biggest arguments on the Editorial Board. Where one person liked that story because she has a puppy too the rest of the Editorial Board is shaking there heads because they won’t be caught publishing such poor writing. That is my biggest problem with all editors. Not enough of them read without bias but instead, publish those crappy, poorly written stories about two years because they too, have a toddler. I refuse to be that editor. In the end, because I value quality writing above all else, I vote to throw everything else out and just hope, every year, that there will be enough pieces that combine good story along with good writing. Because this is about words. Good words.

So I’m working through the final line edit of my monster book. And I am plagued. It feels so much like the longer I work on this the more I doubt my decisians, myself, my writing, my book.

Rejection

I’ve been dealing with a lot of rejection lately. Where I thought I was a shoe in to at least get a couple of short stories and poems published this year. They were all rejected. All of them.

The rejections are hard. Probably the hardest part of being a writer and the most absolute part of being a writer. You will be rejected; constantly. I know I am a decent writer. I know what I’ve submitted this year and in the past have been solid writing. However, I have come up against the wall of Minnesota. The wall that says, “We just don’t want what you write.” I can’t tell you how many times I have been rejected and then later met and the editor and I thought, “No wonder.” They didn’t want what I’m writing.

My writing is too cutting edge, too hard core, too in your face, too rock. And it always will be. In Minnesota what gets published again and again are vacation stories. Inspirational stories. Stories about working on your little log cabin. Stories written by baby boomers. I am rejected before I even start.

So do I change my writing?

Do I write the cutesy shit that makes me gag so I get published?

Do I pretend I’m a Grandma who remembers being taught how to cook from her grandma? Or a grand daughter who just can’t believe how sweet her daughter is? Do I pretend to find God in mere coincidence so someone will publish me? Do I pretend how amazing the water was on the lake last night even though it’s the same fucking water it’s always been?

I’m angry. I’m annoyed. I am hearing the same advice and truth I’ve given other writers a million times.

Good writing doesn’t get published. What the Editor likes gets published.

I am at a loss. You want to believe that if you work hard enough than you will get published. But that’s just not how it is. Day in and day out I am facing rejection. I am facing people telling me that my work is too realistic, too scary, too goth, too hard core, not sweet enough. How often have I seen people grimace with distaste not at my writing but at my story? How many times has my writing been so good that I have made people creeped out and even feel hate for one of my characters? Shouldn’t that be a good thing? The worst thing I can think of is that people would call my work “boring”. And yet, I’m getting rejected, while the most boring shit I’ve ever read is getting published. God forbid anyone publish something that pushes the envelope.

No one wants to read a hard story these days. I was sitting at a family gathering the other day and heard several adults there talking about how much they hate Stephen King’s books and how they only like books like Harry Potter and the Narnia series. I couldn’t say anything because what I would say to that would be nothing good.

Twilight.

I’m going to use the Twilight books as a comparison to what I would never do. Did I think the Twilights were okay? Of course, I’m a girl, who couldn’t love Edward? But by the last book I couldn’t stand them anymore. Not for the story but for the terrible disrespect of the story and the characters.

I guess I’ve been reading too many Pulitzer prize winning books. God knows, Twilight doesn’t compare. In fact Twilight looks like shit in comparison to Gilead (Marilyn Robinson) and the many other fantastic books that are out there to read today. I’ve come to the final realization of the major difference between the writer of the Twilight Series and the writer of Gilead and Good Housekeeping.

It’s About Respect.

When you read a book like Gilead you feel as though you are getting a real glimpse to a real person’s existence. You do not become the character, instead, you see the character. You see them in all of their incredible imperfections. In all of their grief and tragedy. In all of their triumphs and in their deaths. In the Twilight series, from the first sentence, it reads like fake fiction. The main character is an idiot. Stupid, one dimensional, shockingly unrealistic. Written in this way so the reader will become the main character. Written so the main character never rocks the boat, never makes a decision the reader wouldn’t like. never becomes a real person.

Gilead is an incredible show case of an author writing a story with unflinching respect for the main character and the decisions he must make, regardless of who doesn’t like it. Stephen King does this in all of his books as well. They are entirely character and story driven. You don’t become the character, you become their shadows. You follow them through all of their terrible and great days. And you stand in awe as the author lets those character make their decisions. And the author writes their stories without ever interrupting. Instead they read as though the authors don’t exist. It’s just the character, it’s just the story. And that is incredible to me.

Something like Twilight simply pisses me off. Where there is incredible writing in the world today, it’s a series like Twilight that the world wants to read. Regardless of good writing. No one gives a rat’s ass. The world wants a quick fix that they won’t have to think about, that won’t interfere or bother their little lives in anyway.

And Then There’s Me.

I don’t want to write a one dimensional, unrealistic, idiotic character that people can be. I want to write about a realistic, multi-dimensional person that people can see. I don’t want to write the easy stories. I don’t want to write boring shit that people forget. So, that makes me an absolute reject.

I want to be the writer of a Clockwork Orange and Animal Farm and Farenheit 451 of my generation. But I don’t think anyone will ever publish me to give me the chance. So I keep writing. I keep working. And I do hope that I will find the agent that appreciates this kind of writing. One day. I guess we’ll see.

I’ve come back to something time and time again. Something from a movie that came out quite a while ago. I’m not necessarily a love story fan or a scary movie fan. I’m just a fan. I like good movies regardless of genre. I am the same with books. I don’t care what they’re about, if they are done well, I’m a fan.

I’m talking about the movie Up Close and Personal starring Robert Redford and Michelle Pfeiffer. It’s a damn good movie, you should see it if you haven’t yet. It’s about a young reporter (Pfeiffer) who starts moving up the ranks with the help of Robert Redford who is a very old hat at reporting (and is also very good at it). At nearly the end of the movie Michelle Pfeiffer goes to a prison to do an interview. While she’s there there is a major prison break where, for a while, she’s in serious danger and the prisoners have total control of the prison. Once she gets out they put her in front of a camera immediately and she goes on to prove to Robert Redford that she doesn’t need him anymore. Where he would normally start coaxing her through her live report he doesn’t have to say a word.

In the movie they have her start talking on live camera and before he says anything to her statements, he types them. Then it turns out as she talks that he doesn’t have to say a word. She does it perfect, answers everything he would have said. This is how the dialogue ended up in the movie (her dialogue in quotes his typing in italics)

“Twenty-four hours ago, I came to Holmesburg Prison…”
Why?
“to report on how Governor George McBride new “get tough’policies… were affecting one convict. It was meant to be A Day in the Life of Fernando Buttanda.”
Whose that?
“Fernando Buttanda was not a good man by society’s standards. He was not even a good man by his own standards.”
Why do we care?
“Recently, however, in a job-training program here at Holmesburg… Fernando began to learn nursing skills. He volunteered to work in the prison hospital… at some risk to himself, with violent patients. He was good at it. He liked doing it.”
What does this have to do with anything you’re talking about?
“A month ago, Governor McBride, who is campaigning for reelection… on the pledge to “reform” other Pennsylvania prisons… as he “reformed” Holmesburg, canceled this program. “A prison is about punishment.” He added, “it’s not about another chance.” During the next weeks, we’ll hear a lot about what prisons should be. A lot opinions as to why this riot occurred, in this place, at this time. Many fixes will be proposed, many answers formulated. Inside Holmesburg Prison last night, answers were harder to come by. What we do know is that fifteen prisoners died… including Fernando Buttanda. This is Tally Atwater, W.F.I.L. News, Holmesburg Prison.”

She nailed it, without Robert Redford ever having to say a word. She answered his immediate probes about her report before he could even speak.

I’ve kept this in mind and come back to it again and again with my writing. I write a sentence and think “Why does my reader care?” I write another sentence and think “Why?” I write another sentence and think, “What does that have to do with what I wrote initially?”

It’s a good exercise. We’ve all heard the overused and often completely miss-used quote of “Omit needless words”

I don’t write by adding I write by thinking “Why does that need to be in the book? Why does my reader give a rats ass about that?” And if I don’t have a good answer, than I remove it from the book. It makes me a very unforgiving editor. I’ve read too many short stories that that question above actually deleted in my mind, completely. Not just a few words but the entire story had no good reason for existing. Before you start writing ask your self, “Why does this even need to be written?” “Why would anyone want to read it?” If you can’t answer those two simple questions well enough than it’s probably not worth writing. Accept for the practice. To become a good writer you need to write the shit stories too, just don’t submit them anywhere.

The Dawning

Good fiction writers to me are similar to really good reporters. They know they have absolutely no time and their audience has no attention span. They have to start where its important, eliminate all bull shit and never, ever lie in any conceivable way. When people pick up a book they start by trusting the author to guide them safely and intelligently through a great ride/story. The moment a fiction author tells them something they don’t need to know, the moment the writer even bores them is the moment most general fiction readers stop trusting the author and that’s not far from throwing the book away.

When I talk about the dawning I’m talking about an author impressive me with their insight. I’m talking about the “oh wow” moment, “I hadn’t even thought of that but of course!!” When it dawns on the reader while their reading it or the writer while they’re writing it. It is the very best moment of fiction. This is the moment I strive for every day. I slave over my books trying to see the angles other people wouldn’t normally consider. The things that would be obvious to you if you were one of my characters and living it. These are the things that make fiction grand.

But they’re not easy to see or to find. I had one of these moments the other night. I have been trying desperately to fully see my character Karalay. I know what she’s going and trying to see deeper than that, trying to see the normal play out of events if this was actually happening. I’ve been beating my head on this wall.

Then it happened.

It dawned on me.

A wonderful thought, idea, moment. I sat down and wrote it the next day, stunned that I had been working on Karalay more than I had ever thought. I’m so excited to be a writer right now. I’m almost done with Karalay.

The opinion of writers groups varies entirely across the board. There are some people, authors and writers, who swear by them as support structures and then there is a much, much larger majority (mostly of successful published authors) who believe writers groups are nothing less than highly destructive. In this post I’m going to explore the reasons why writers groups have got such a bad reputation and also why, in some cases, they have a very good reputation.

My writers group, my aunt, and I, have become something of celebrities in our writing piece of Minnesota. What we have become and done for many years is unprecedented. We have stayed together, kept motivated, welcome new members and all of our members have become published authors. We have also kept our fourteen year old book churning out year after year, publishing Minnesota authors (without a reading fee) and offering $1500 worth of prizes every year. We have no membership dues and rely mostly on benefits to keep us publishing and supporting Minnesota writers year after year. We are a nonprofit and we are proud of what we have accomplished. The Jackpine Writers’ Bloc.

Writers alone in the woods

There are many different types of writers that come and introduce themselves to our group. The one defining quality of almost all of them is that their writing has never been read by anyone outside their families. They have basically never conversed with other writers and are a little terrified. They hold their work against their chest like it’s a light sensitive baby and when they come to our monthly meetings and read it, they go either one way or the other.

Can’t take critisism

Writers who absolutely cannot take criticism and seem to believe that while they’ve been off writing alone in the woods they have become Hemmingways. While we sit through their reading we’re left giving critique and support to deaf ears. We find out soon enough that this writer came for only one thing. To read in front of other writers and have those other writers bow before their brilliance.

I absolutely cannot say this enough. Not only is your writing not great or interesting but the majority of it is downright SHIT. No matter how good it may or not be it can be IMPROVED. Until you’re willing to improve as a writer and hear criticism you are a complete waste of time to other writers. And you’re a complete waste of time to yourself and you will never improve as a writer. But I guess if you think you’re perfect at this point anyway than you don’t need to improve. Do you?

Giving Criticism

I’m one lucky chick to have several long time highly published authors in my group. And many avid readers/writers. They give unique and interesting advice and have helped me in the past. The major problem with most writers’ groups is that they become full of a few very crappy writers, and very closed minded people.

Be Warned.

These people have destroyed many writers to make themselves feel better about their own shitty work. No, this is not how it always is but I think all writers groups have this sad truth within them at least a little bit. Every writers group has people who like and or dislike certain genres of writing and write themselves in a very specific genre. They cannot help but judge your writing against what they like.

The hardest thing to find is someone who can comment objectively on just the technique and form of the writing and not on the subject. This is an extremely rare person and is almost impossible to find. Do I think I am one of these people? As much as I possibly can be.

Whether you like it or not.

Your writing will be shaped by the opinions of the writers group. If you’re willing to take critique you fill find your writing will begin to take on different shapes. Read as much as you can and get as many opinions as possible about your writing. You will be able to glean and apply and grow faster than anyone else alive in your art of writing.

The Bad.

The only problem with a writers group (assuming they are good authors and readers who know how to critique properly and not just be stupid assholes) is that you can take it one step to far. It is possible to start writing to appease the people in your writers group. Never allow this to happen. Find your voice and stick with it. For years I have been the only commercial fantasy fiction writer in my group and they simply haven’t been able to help me much. It’s tough for poets and memoir-ists to make an intelligent critique on fantasy commercial fiction. But they are wonderful people and great writers in their own genre and I’ve taken their criticism as I would from anyone on the street picking up my book and reading it. As most novelists know good readers are damn hard to find but my writers group remains there for me, my encouragement and my support.

I will say it again.

You simply can not read enough, write enough, and get your writing read by enough people. Learn to glean from comments. If twelve out of thirteen people don’t like that line, consider changing it. If only one person doesn’t like it than everyone is entitled to her/his opinion. Know who your readers are and don’t be surprise if the love poet isn’t that fond of your horror novel. Take nothing personally and all of those readers will at least give you one very important thing.

Thick skin.

You know you’re going to need it when you actually want to get published. Become apart of the writers community in your area. Become a part of the writers of this country. Know what you’re trying to get into, don’t be shy. The longer you hide behind those trees the harder it will be to break in to the industry. As long as you’re careful to stay objective, take every opinion worth a grain of salt, becoming a part of a writers community will benefit you.

In writers groups across the country November has become synonomous with NANOWRIMO. That is (to those of you who don’t know): National Novel Writing Month. From the website you can get this description of what exactly it means to be a part of NANOWRIMO:

>>National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30. Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved. Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It’s all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.<<

(From the center news section of my writers’ group’s website you can read the status reports and info of all ten of our members who are trying to complete NANOWRIMO.)

I don’t really get it.

Obviously you’re probably wondering what somebody like me would think of something like NANOWRIMO. I think it’s absolutely wonderful for the people that participate. And for the writers that finish. I think it’s a great confidence booster and I think it’s a way to find ideas and reach beyond yourself/farther into you’re own imagination than you normally would. NANOWRIMO is a cool motivational tool.

However, I do not think it is real novel writing. Am I being a snively little brat? You’re damn right. The very idea that someone would call what they’re accomplishing in four weeks the exact same name of what I’ve been working on for ten years is damned offensive. I want to throw a fit and I can’t help it. I smile stonily, coldly, politely and I have never said a bad word about NANOWRIMO. But I can’t help but feel as though my work (and the years of extensive work made by thousands of novelists across the world) is belittled every year in November.

My writing averages out to 2 thousand words an hour. I could write 50,000 words in 25 hours. Where in the hell did they pull 50,000 out of? Most publishing companies won’t accept a 50,000 word “novel” because it’s too short.  I think it should be doubled. 100,000 word book would actually give people something to work with at the end. Something they can edit and cut from. Something they can shape. Right now, ending on 50,000 words just means if they want a full length book then they’re going to have to keep adding even after they “finished” NANOWRIMO.

“But that’s not what NANOWRIMO is about Tarah!” Okay, I’ll bite. I am fully aware this is a motivational tool to help bring out the stories in the people attempting it. It is also a confidence booster for those that manage to finish. It is not about having a book ready to publish after one month it’s about having the confidence to try to have a book ready SOMEDAY.  Because, it has been proven, most writers never start because they’re intimidated by the idea of a novel. NANOWRIMO changes all of that. Okay, but I still think that if National Novel Writing Month is not about finishing a full length novel in a month than they’ve got some serious false advertising going on!

Yeah, and I still don’t get it

Yup, I don’t. I just don’t. I’ve literally had mentors and friends of mine suggest I do NANOWRIMO to help “put away” my internal editor and learn “to just write”. Hmm. I’ve never told them that I’ve cut and added 50,000 words in less than a week on average for years working on my monster. But I don’t say these things because most writers seem to think that 50,000 is a big number. I don’t. And writers like me who would say something of how many words I work with generally are thought of as show-offs and liars and are usually not liked. So, no, I haven’t said anything outloud.

If I actually devoted myself to 50,000 words what I would end up with is a book just as far from finished as my rewrite is right now. I would do it in less than week and I would have another big chunk of writing that needs days and days of my utmost editting attention. The only thing I will accept from the NANOWRIMO idea is to work on my book like my life depends on it. Like I have an eight week deadline that will send me straight to hell if I don’t have a finished Embraced by Darkness. This has helped me keep working, keep focused and stay determined no matter what. Despite the doubt and the hesitation and my own cautiousness. Getting stuck somewhere in the book where I may be, unmoving, not progressing, for several weeks, is not an option. And it has been with this attitude that I started this blog. I have found this new attitude extremely helpful in keeping me focused, one-minded, attacking my book.

As of right now I have spent four days without looking at Embraced by Darkness. It is the longest I have spent away from it in six weeks. I have deleted over 30,000 words from the book (roughly averaging to every thousand words that I end up deleting have been added and deleted about three times throughout the process. So when I say 30,000 I actually mean I have been fiddling around with 90,000 words). Does all of that sound like an astronomical amount? I’ve never professed these number to any person, especially my writers’ group. I’m afraid they’ll think I’m showing off or they simply won’t believe me. But this is my blog and I am determined to be as honest and as tedious with my “book-keeping” as possible. Regardless if anyone ever reads this. This blog is about me.

I have finished going through, adding, deleting and re-writing two thirds of the book and finished line-editing one third of the book. Thinking of it like this I literally feel my heart sore. Two thirds done… How bout that? I have been trying to get back to my book the past two days because I finished Osondrous’ story and need to go back through it and line-edit it and I’ve had some trouble getting motivated. But now I see, what am I waiting for? I’m almost done!

As I have been trying to go back to my book I have felt Embraced by Darkness coming back to me. It always does. Not matter how long it’s been or how much of a break my mind and spirit needed from writing. My books have always come back to sit at my subconscious and touch in to my everyday thoughts and actions. And when this happens, I start to get excited and I start to reach for it. When we meet is when I am at my most productive and my next post I am determined will say “I finished line-editing Osondrous and I have begun Karalay’s story. The last story of Embraced by Darkness.”

Then what?

That’s too scary to contemplate. Once I’ve finished Embraced by Darkness and my years and years of work is as done as it can be. Than we all know what comes next. If I have the balls and the funds to send my monster out I am guaranteed a mountain of rejection letters and wasted money that I don’t have to throw away.

Doubt.

But I am going to finish Embraced by Darkness anyway and when it’s done I’m going to go to my next book; The Death of Eliana. And then my next book and then my next. They all sit at my subconscious and touch in to my everyday thoughts and actions. I will work on a book the rest of my life, I know this now. Whether I am ever a published novelist. This is what I’m going to be doing.