I received an email from my editor last night that absolutely made my day, “I have just finished Part Two. Boy, that Waltruk was an ugly sucker. Now I am in it. Now I am involved. I really liked the longer sentences, the longer discussions in this part.” I knew my book was a very large swallow starting off, no matter what, and my editor has confirmed that with her comments over the past week as she got through part one and part two. I kept hoping, crossing my fingers, that once she finished part two she would understand. This email made my heart soar. I went back to my book instantly and read 3/4s of it in two days! It’s been awhile since I had even looked at Embraced by Darkness. When I’m away from it for a few days, or even weeks, I start thinking that it is simply shit. But, I read it again and it was like reading something that could truly become popular. Something sharp and well cut. Something that showed a writer who truly gave a damn when she was writing it. I hope with all of my heart that someone else will think that too someday.
Choices
I’m in a bit of a conundrum here. I’ve talked about this before but I simply do not know what to do. I need advice: very specific advice, and have no one to ask. I want to get a grant so I can hire someone to produce an incredible cover for my book, so I can finish it and give it a gorgeous website and then truly advertise the hell out of it and promote it myself. However, I am concerned, what if this could hurt my chances in acquiring a publisher or an agent? I would like to think that if I can sell a few thousand copies of my book, than wouldn’t that be a good thing? Wouldn’t a publisher or agent be more interested in me then?? I don’t know who to ask this question to and I am concerned.
On top of that
I just read from a very reputable writer (who writes fantastic free articles for writers) that you really shouldn’t even consider sending out to agents or publishers until you have every book written that will be included in the series that you’re selling. So, that means I should really have the sequel to Embraced by Darkness written as well. I am 30,000 words into it but the task of taking it on and writing it is just not something I do not have time for in the summer. Especially not this summer. So, that is something that is obviously making me lean toward just publishing and promoting the first Embraced by Darkness myself.
Cart before the horse
My wonderful editor still has to finish going through my book before I should even be considering this stuff. So, it is going to probably be two or even three months (realistically, I know I haven’t always been realistic with my time-lines, maybe that’s why I’m always disappointed?) She needs to finish reading it first and she has her own very busy life to deal with, not to mention she’s doing this for free because she’s my wonderful and very loving aunt. I will keep you updated on her progress 
Ads
I am determined to someday make some money off of all of this time I spend on my blogs. I now have my Recipe blog as well as this one. I have Google Adsense on both blogs now and I have included a cool book widget from Amazon now in the right hand column here. I think that it is really cool. Now everyone can see my all time favorite books without having to ask
Please, don’t think I expect to actually make money on either this or my recipe blog. I am simply not that naive. But, I have been working on trying to come up with a blog of some kind that could truly make me some money. I always come up with ideas for things I know nothing about because that’s obviously the blog I would go to and enjoy learning something from. I took a step back and started focusing on what I know; what I can teach someone.
Web Design Workshop
That led me back to an idea I’ve had for awhile about putting on a one day “Become a Web Designer” workshop in my local hometown to make a few bucks. I’ve been brain storming about this all summer and it never occurred to me to make a website out of this workshop. Why not?
So, the next website you’re going to see from me is a total and complete devotion to my teaching the newbies what they need to know to become web designers (at least to some extent). It’s going to be very large and take me a lot of time to propagate with all the info that I want to add. It’s also going to include a blog that I will try to update at least monthly with new thoughts as well as a new entry for each new web design that I do. I hope to give people a literal walk through of my own web design process. Full tips and tricks. But, mostly, a basic layout and step by step guide beginning with acquiring a domain name. I will let everyone here know first when I finally get it up and running.
Portfolio.Tarahlynn.com
Some of you may have noticed a broken link over in my navigation called portfolio. When I was sending out resumes last year (to absolutely no avail) I ran into several companies who wanted to see an online resume/portfolio. So, that is something I hope to have finished and up ASAP. I have wanted a place for my photos, all of my web designs and book designs for a very long time, so this is something I am excited about and I think it will be a good step for me professionally. So, check back soon!
As you all know I am a heavy reader. Usually I read about a book a week and no, I have not been able to keep up with myself and keep the books I’m reading updated in the column on the right-hand side of this page (admit it you never read it and never knew it was there). The plan is to have an entire page devoted the books I’ve read, one page for every year. No, I’m not going to write a review of all of the books I read, not unless I am blown away (or the opposite reaction of “I barely kept myself from burning it before I finished it.”) I’m not even going to dignify them with a star system of how much I liked them or didn’t etc. The truth is, I know that if you wanted a review or a star system you would just go to amazon. The pages will be mostly for me, because, even though I have an excellent memory, I want to make sure I never forget the books that I’ve read.
I haven’t posted in a while.
No kidding huh? My one post a week that I managed since November of last year was blown out of the water since Joseph left me. Life happens. It’s complicated. All that bullshit. Joseph has since renounced everything he said and does wish he never left me. It all makes sense. It all makes no sense. It’s complicated. All that bullshit. Regardless. This year I am free. This is the promise I gave myself. I will no longer be tied, no longer be shackled. This year I am free. This is what I have always wanted. I didn’t get here like I wanted to. But do we ever?
This year I am free.
No grief, no happiness, no change in the wind, will change that simple fact. It is the only plan I will make in 2010. This year I am free. That is the best thing I have ever heard in my whole life. I have never been free. Gone from a bastard father to a nice guy that meant well but who did what all guys do anyway and, of course, felt terrible about it. I believe now that most men are cowards, especially the nice ones, and they will all destroy whoever and whatever they have to to hide that fact.
All men are liars and thieves, the good ones just feel bad about it.
Are you a man? Welcome to the first generation of men who are actually learning that life is unfair. Women have known this fact for two thousand years, if not longer. I have no pity for you, as I have none for women either. It is a rare dead when we’re not all dealt something we don’t deserve. In fact, if you haven’t been dealt something that you absolutely didn’t deserve, than I haven’t met you yet.
I sound contrite and I hate that. You may not believe me but these have been my views for as long as I can remember. All I am suffering now is complete and total gut-wrenching disappointment that my pessimistic and very cold opinions turned out to be relatively true. I am a Tiger according to the Chinese Zodiac and I do live up to my name.
The books I write are all about strong women who crush unfair assholes beneath their boots. It is no wonder. They are the only women I can truly respect.
I have reached almost 20,000 words in my sequel and I am very excited about it. However, I have begun reading what are considered two of the greatest fantasy fiction series of all time. Truly they make my writing look like that of a fifth grader, it disheartening but I will learn from them. Earlier this year I read the first four books of the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. I was blown away, could not put them down, and it almost killed me not to spend my last dollar for the remaining books in the series. My financial troubles have become the bane of my existence. And, it seems, I am not alone, it seems in fact that the entirety of the Unites States is with me. So I can’t complain. But that added to the last four weeks of my life means that I am still smoking a little. My mom and everyone else I know was in a constant state of total bitchiness (men and women both) but there has been a turn in the weather, quite literally. It was over eighty-five degrees here in Minnesota yesterday and I can tell you, it helped.
This year I am free.
So, my financial troubles are bothering me less. I am happier and sadder than I have ever been in my life. I am farther from suicide that I have ever been in my life but I am also closer to tears, though I am all dried up from tears, I still feel like crying every now again, though I don’t want to admit it. Because I’m happy here. No regrets and I know that that is something I have never been able to say. Through all of the unfairness that I’ve been handed and the just, out-right cruelty, I don’t want to take any of it back. That is, by itself, amazing to me. I have lived forever wanting to take everything but, my whole life, even when none of it was my fault. I don’t want to take any of it back. In fact, if I look back I will be lost. I am glad it’s over and I am so excited to move on and finally be free. I am just so relieved that I got out of it in tact, that I didn’t lose my spirit, or my soul, or my heart, I am so relieved that it’s over. That I did not compromise who I needed to stay to be happy, to be able to still respect myself in the morning. I’m still here and now I am truly free.
After I finished the first four books of the Dark Tower series by Stephen King I read the next book that I didn’t have to buy. My mom got me the first book of the series A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin. I read that first book and though I was able to hold myself back from buying the last of the Dark Tower series (because I had only forty two dollars to my name at that point) I could not hold back from buying the last three books of the series A Song of Ice and Fire. I have no doubt that it is the greatest fantasy series of all time and if you like fantasy fiction in any way you are doing yourself a grave miss-service if you do not follow the link and buy them all immediately. I have not been left so awe-struck by a book in a long time, maybe not ever and yes, of course, I have read The Hobbit and a dozen other of the greatest fantasy authors of all time. None of them compare. Follow the link, give A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin a shot. It will blow you away.
It’s been a while since I posted (yet again). I am trying to get my feet back under me from the blows of the last two weeks. I’m still walking around through some kind of fog that’s impossible to explain but we all know what it feels like. No matter how I justify everything in my head, no matter how this is even kind of a release, I am very depressed. I’m capable of getting to work on time, doing what I need to do. But, Guitar Hero? Golf? All I want to do is sit and lick this wound. It’s just too heavy to carry around when I don’t have to be doing anything.
The worst thing that happened to be in this recovery stage was that the very first weekend (during the time I wrote my last blog entry) I finished my book. Cheers, right? Woohoo. Oh yeah, yay. But, now I don’t have anything else to do. I’m so desperate I’m starting to shift my focus to the sequel. I need something so badly so I can have an escape from myself, my book was the very best thing.
I’ve already spoken to my aunt about all of it and she’s planning on starting the “on the computer line edit” of my book as soon as we finish The Talking Stick and Richard’s Sedarstrom’s second poetry book. I don’t know if I don’t you about him yet but he’s a fantastic retired professor who is, at this very moment, my favorite person to work for. What’s great about Richard is that his writing is so unbelievably clean that Sharon should have the book ready for publication within less than a week. So, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that she’ll be able to start my book in no more than three weeks.
The golf course has opened, I don’t know about you but we’ve noticed that this is three weeks earlier and about thirty degrees warmer than any spring that I can remember. So, yay, an extra month of golf this year. I’ve golfed three times and I can’t tell you how good it felt and how good it was for me. Being in the club house has been healing. So many people who remember me, so many guys who are happy to see me. Makes a girl feel a little more than nothing. I needed that.
So, my book is almost there and I feel good about it. I’m biting my nails. The house, down south, is almost finished and should be on the market by August. I do plan on going back for a couple of weeks for the last finishing push but, for right now, I’m going to cross that bridge when I come to it and not think about that trip yet. Right now it’s just one day at a time for me. Thank God for a job to go to everyday and a mom and three dogs that love me without bounds. Even my brother has given me many hugs these past two weeks.
The worst blow was after Joseph left me, I tried to put a nail all the way through the bottom of my foot and then, about a week after that, my mom and I were testing golf cart batteries. We had already gone through almost half of our electric golf carts and I was leaning over the whole rack of 6, 6 volt batteries and I saw the spark. BOOM. The center battery blew up right in my face. The whole thing fucking detonated. I hit the ground, my face covered, my eyes and all of my exposed skin felt like I was on fire. I was convinced I’d lost the eye sight in my right eye, deformed for life. The thing had already swollen to the size of a golf ball. My mom grabbed me, flagged my brother down and they took turns dousing my face and eyes out of water. Then she and I both ran home and took showers to get the battery acid off of us.
To say the least I was a real girl about the whole thing. A couple golfer friends of my saw it happen and offered me two shots of Root Beer Schnapps, from there I smoke four cigarettes and simply sat there shaking for two hours. Never in my life could I have imagined that could happen, but of course, it would happen to me during the worst week of my life. Everyone tells me bad things come in threes so I guess I’m done for the year. We’ll see, I’m certainly not going to say out loud, “It couldn’t get worse! Things have to get better!” Because I’ve been saying that for five years and somehow it has always gotten worse.
So I am one beaten and battered chick, hobbling around with a bad foot and a shiner on my right eye that has taken on every conceivable color of the rainbow. Whatever part of the battery that hit my eye it was about a quarter of an inch higher than hitting my eyeball. I should be thankful, I flinched the right way, no permanent damage. And, God knows, what a hell of a story to tell anyone who asks what happened to my face. But it should heal without scarring and it’s already better. Besides all of that you know about my heavy wound I’m trying to carry around with me.
They say we right from wounds. Maybe this will improve my writing. I don’t think so. I’ll let you know as soon as I start in on the sequel again. Lots of ideas! The other the day I wrote three post-its worth of notes; the final finishing of the base outline for the second book. Wow.
Billy Collins is coming to Bemidji Minnesota this September!! WooHoo!
I am sooo excited. If you haven’t yet seen them on youtube you need to go watch These By Billy Collins. There are many to see/hear and they are absolutely incredible. I can’t wait to hear him live. And, is it just me or does he sound like Kevin Spacey when he played the serial killer in Seven? And doesn’t that just add another awesome element of dimension or what!
Stage two of The Talking Stick
Everything is in a digital file. Poetry, Creative nonfiction and fiction. There is no more scanning or typing to do (Thank God). Sharon has gone through the digital file and made as many corrections as she can there. The judges have already returned to us the first and second place finishers in all three categories. All that was left to do last Sunday night was for me to sit down and figure out how the book is going to read, which poem goes where, which story goes where. Made all the more difficult that we want to start everything that goes on to more than one page on a right hand page.
It took me four hours.
Not even kidding. Four hours. I started at 11pm and ended up still sitting there at 3am. It was the hardest book I have yet to put together in my life. It is strictly because of our standards of excellence and the fact that we’re getting more and more writing every year. That all translates into “less filler for the book.” Less easy going and blah poetry about nothing etc. We encourage and published clear-voiced pieces that are well described, as short/cut/tight as possible. And we love stuff that ends with a clear message. No, I don’t mean “Kill Hitler!” what I mean by a clear message is that there is a beginning, a middle and an end that translates into something, anything. An emotion, an idea, anything, anything at all without the writer TELLING IT TO US.
And that translates into . . .
A book that was damn hard to put together. I mean, my God, I’m not going to be caught putting a poem about baby’s dying across from a creative nonfiction that is a humorous slant on cabin life. Hell no. Everything this year was clear and imrpessive, but that means everything this year had to be very carefully handled. What a job!
But what a great job to have! I can’t believe I’m saying the quality of the work was so good it actually made my job harder. lol. What a great problem to have.
There was bad too though.
Don’t get me wrong. There is always truly horrible writing that I remain sitting with my mouth open while reading it wondering why the hell the writer thought anyone would want to read it. Half of the creative nonfiction submitted this year I crossed off (with red ink) at least the first and the last paragraphs. Simply put I eliminated the stupid back story that should start NO story (if back story is necessary and, it really shouldn’t be with a word limit of 1,000, then it should only be brought it when its relevant to the action.) and then I eliminated the part when the writer decided to tell us what we learned because of course all readers (especially editors) are too stupid to get it.
What writers don’t seem to understand.
I can imagine them. Flaunting along in tied died t-shirts in their minds as they expand their horizons and click off the editor and slip into that creative bliss where everything is genius. And then they write words that absolutely ooze like honey, thing like, “Expanded into/Void of oppressive/Convulsed noise/Weeping . . . Weeping . . . Weeping/Dreams shattered/A blink and I knew/I was alive!” Wow, really? This is the best you can do? What the hell did that even fucking mean? And, for that matter, who ever said that I cared about whether or not you felt alive? Do you understand that I don’t care? I couldn’t care less actually. You’re job as a writer is to make me give a fuck. Figure it out.
The number one rule that most “hobby” writers don’t seem to get is that writing is half creative process and half intellectual work. It seems they all throw out their brain, their working common sense, for this lofty bull shit hope that you can become a writer by writing what you think is poetic.
Most people who sit down to write a “poem” are always lacking the most important thing. Heart.
The impressive pieces, every one of them, start by the writer being inspired by an emotion. From there, not all writers create anything that’s worth reading (I can’t tell you how many pieces that we don’t put in the book but they had a great idea) the inspiration is the most creative part of it all and it does not create something worth reading. Your intellectual self, your ability to step back and allow that story to shine (or that feeling, that emotion) without ever telling us how to think, is how good writing begins. It takes clear thinking and an absolutely hated eye to get a piece cut down to the only words that matter. Very few things that I’ve read have ever reached this point of brilliant tightness and almost no creative nonfiction that I’ve seen has ever achieved this.
The ability to step back and clearly assess your own writing.
You need to be objective. So often I hear “I wrote it for a class” and I think, “Wow that must be an exciting read!” The basis of your work must be a seed that inspires you. You must have a clear and present knowing of what you are trying to achieve when you’re writing that piece. If you’re not excited about it, God knows, no reader will ever be.
I’m looking for a cover designer for my book. I officially have a plan but it cannot begin until I have a fabulous cover for Embraced by Darkness. I have queried several artists I found through DeviantArt (my old stomping grounds) and have made some progress. One fantastic artist told me she does commissions for free but I sense she is suspecting something different than what I am going to throw at her. Most excellent digital artists on DeviantArt get commissions to do profiles sketches of fantasy-sci-fi game characters/not a big job in comparison to what I want on my book cover. After I get the cover done for my book I officialy have a plan.
That’s right – I have a plan.
The plan starts with me not being humble at all. I am a web designer and I know how to get to first page Google within two months. I also know how to create a website that sells. These things I have not considered thoroughly enough as being assets for selling becoming a published novelist. I came upon a pdf file of some poor writer who self-published through lulu and failed miserably (several times) the end of the pdf was that she was finally happy with her book covers and she sold a couple a month etc. I looked at her website and her book covers and could not believe she sold any a month. It also just so happens that I’ve been an editor and layout/print designer for eight years. Funny how until I read that pdf that none of this became very obvious to me. I have the experience in the industry to already know not to make the mistakes that she made. I also have enough experience in the industry that I know most people buy books online these days.
That’s right – Most people buy books online now.
Book stores are barely surviving. I know this because I’ve been in the industry close enough, for long enough, that most people buy online these days. And most of them buy used books from Amazon (if they’re smart - I just bought a used Stephen King book for 1 cent yesterday).
On top of all of that my writers’ group (The Jackpine Writers’ Bloc) has several ISBNs more than they will ever need and are willing to give me one for free for my book. On top of that my aunt happens to be the most incredibly thorough editor I have ever seen and she’s already told me she would edit my book for me. Take note on my last sentence because on top of everything else I think this kind of editing is really what separates the shitty self published books from the publishing company books. Because of the cover, my layout design and Sharon’s professional editing. My book will not look self published but professionally finished. Also if I publish through Lulu with an ISBN I can use their marketing tools for free and that means: A Free Amazon Listing.
So Far I’ve Only Spent $15
That’s right. Only $15 and that’s for the domain registration because we have our own server and that means free hosting for me. Does it seem a little like I haven’t utilized the tools that have been given to me in the past? You’re damned right. But, I also haven’t had a finished book in the past so regardless of what I’m capable of: I won’t push or try to sell a book I’m not proud of. But now, if you haven’t noticed, I’m just about done with my book and I have the time and I can afford $15 to get my website up.
So, Here’s the Plan.
- Register the domain embracedbydarkness.com ($15)
- Commission an incredible bad-ass cover. ($?)
- Get my aunt to edit my book for me. ($?)
- Use the cover graphics to create a stunning website at the domain. ($0)
- Launch the book on lulu (with lulu marketing) and the website ($0)
- Pay per click advertising on Facebook using bad ass cover ($?)
- Pay for banner advertising on DeviantArt using bad ass cover for 1 to forever ($20 per month)
Now, a couple of things I already have wrong that you may point out. First off, I really need to get my book on lulu and get lulu marketing going ASAP long before I do anything else (besides getting my domain name) because lulu marketing (getting my book in amazon listings etc.) can take up to eight weeks and I would really rather have all of the finished and set before I start paying for advertising. Regardless though, I won’t put my book up in lulu until the cover is finished so that’s priority #1 and, God knows, I’ve got absolutely no money. So, as I hope that someone may give me a commissioned cover for free, I know that that is really far fetched.
Wondering why I chose Deviantart Ads?
I bought Banner Advertising through Deviantart years ago when I was selling photography prints (or trying to). I sold a few but that wasn’t the point. The point was that I got over a thousand clicks a day for only $20 a month. It was impressive. And the Deviantart people are my kind of people. Most of them are fantasy gamers that are very much so online rats like the rest of us. In other words, the people on DA are the kind of people who would buy a fantasy book online, and God knows they would notice bad ass cover graphics in an ad and fucking click on it to take them to my even more bad ass website.
Meanwhile, I’m still working on Embraced by Darkness
I finished the first thorough read through and then speed read through the book again cutting and cutting and cutting. Last time I updated my blog the book was over 170,000 words now its down to about 163,000. That’s still not good enough for me. I am determined to cut the book down to at least 150,00 but if I could get it under 150,00 than I believe I’ll have a real something that I could sell to an agency or a publishing company.
But I’m not just cutting thoughtlessly: with every cut I am trying to improve the book. I am reading a book right now (because despite that I am pouring everything I’ve got into my own book I am always reading something besides) called Getting Into Character by Brandalinn Collins. It’s a book focusing on what a novelist can learn from actors on how to develop three dimensional characters. It’s really got me thinking and I’ve been jotting notes down while I read it in bed as I get ideas to change Embraced by Darkness, especially Osondrous, and make it more clear and focused.
I can’t tell you how much I look forward to being able to start a book from scratch. I have learned so much from having to go through this monster so many times. I know one thing for certain: I never want to have to do this again. Any book I write from here on out I am going to have a concise and very clear plan from start finish, from scene to scene. I will never write willynilly again. My boyfriends been joking, “At this point you could have just re-written the whole thing and not had so much damned editing and cutting to do.” Very depressingly, but at this point, he’s right. But there’s no going back now.
Meanwhile. Once the book is done. As you might imagine. I am going to be sending out to every Fantasy/Sci-fi agent I can find. Hopefully, somewhere, I am going to be noticed. What really terrifies me is that I better start working on the sequel.
I started this blog entry the night before last, after I had spent several hours looking for scfi-fi/fantasy places to be published and I still had part 4 of my book to go through. I felt good and I was so enthused that I named the blog post “Actual Hope” though I got nothing else written in it. I found eight places (mostly magazines) that pay and accept scfi-fi/fantasy stories. I’m excited about it and have already sent off one of my short stories for consideration. I have plans to work on four more and get those sent off as soon as possible. I’ll be so excited if just one of them gets accepted. What’s really neat is that most of them urge for novel excerpts so I’m already working on pulling some stories out of The Death of Eliana and I’m working on the same for Embraced by Darkness. For some reason all of this has made me feel pretty good. I’ve also bought some cheap back issues of most of the places; research is a must.
Meanwhile I also found seven different scfi-fi and fantasy publishing companies that accept unsolicited submissions. Woot! Though I know the reaction I’m probably going to get from all of them. “Your book’s too damn long. We can’t publish anything over 120 thousand words.” Still, knowing that those publishing houses are out there, looking for books like I want to write, and being willing to take unagented submissions is pretty fucking awesome.
And I have been working on my book. I said in the beginning of this post that the night before last I was down to Part 4 – the end of the book. If you can believe it, I’m feeling pretty good about how the whole thing is reading. There was some doubt throughout the beginning of the book and, of course, I need to work on those places. But, last night, I finished it.
I finished the first complete read-through after putting my book back together!
Without a doubt, the last half of my book is a better read than the first half. I’m hoping I can cut even more but as it stands the book is now down to 173,052 from 236,743 when I started this last push a few months ago. That’s sixty thousand words that I’ve managed to cut. My boyfriend has taken to teasing, “How much did you delete of all your hard work today? Did it go well?” And I’ll say, “Oh yeah, I just love slaughtering it!” But, the truth of the matter is, that I’m actually not deleting any real substance from the book. Any real writer will know that what I’m doing is just improving what’s already there.
I literally sit and think, “How can I say that in less words?”
The biggest hardship I ran into in this last read through is that, because Karalay’s story is shorter, things were happening for her way before they were spurred to happen for the other characters. I.E. Karalay was reacting to Osondrous becoming queen before she actually became queen. Now, I know a lot of books do that deliberately and there was a part of me that wanted to leave it because the book was so happy and organized as it was. But, I decided, that because of the scope and size of my book, I needed to help my readers out and keep my three characters as close to the same time line as I could. So I had to change my method in Part 1 of the book.
If you’ve been keeping up with my blog posts than you know that I decided to break the book into four parts and omit chapters all together. In each part of the book I ended up going from Osondrous to Karalay to Jezaline to Osondrous to Karalay to Jezaline and then moved on to the next part. But because of Karalay’s shorter story and the fact that she HAD to end my book and the fact that she was the main character in my Epilogue I decided to pull half of her story out of Part 1 and move all of her story down. So Part 1 is now going from Osondrous to Jezaline to Osondrous to Karalay to Jezaline and then moving on to Part 2. See diagram. None of the other Parts have changed but I feel this was necessary and the fact of the matter is, no one reading the book is going to care or notice.
I want to cut more.
It’s painful and it’s true. I need to cut more and I want to cut more. There are two places in the book I hope I can slice more of it out, maybe not more than a few thousand words but if I can get the book down into the hundred and sixty thousand word area I think it will look better. Really anything shorter than it is now will look better to publishers.
But I’m not going to start cutting rashly. I’m going to read through it, one more time, and cut as I go. I hate to say it, and it does pain me quite a bit, but the truth of the matter is the places I’m thinking of cutting are out of Jezaline and Karalay’s stories which is pretty frustrating because Osondrous has the most words in the book. But, as I’m typing this I am thinking of a place in Osondrous’ story too that I noticed. When I read through it again I really hope I can cut them down without mercy and maybe “crosses fingers” even cut another ten thousand words out of the book.
So, wish me luck!
Well, I said very apprehensively in my last post that my next post will be, hopefully, saying that I have finished Karalay’s part of the book and am starting the work of putting my good back together. Well..
It’s better than that!!
Yesterday I sat down at about 2 o’clock in the afternoon and at 9 thirty I finished going through Karalay’s portion of the book the second, and last, time. I was so excited I could barely hold myself back from putting the book together to spend time with my boyfriend and my mom. But I did. I took a break and didn’t go back to my book until nearly 11 thirty.
Than I got to it. And I’m just going to say it: it was fucking hard and stressful.
I wanted to put my book back together in an organized and thoughtful way. I had roughly the same amount of pages between Karalay and Jezaline but Osondrous had about 30 more than that. I wanted four part and to have about an equal amount of pages in each of the four parts of the book. I had already decided how far into the book the Epilogue would go (that was easy because I had already done that though this is the first time I’m calling it an Epilogue, I’m still not sure about that). And I decided to number the pauses in the book (where most people might put chapters) starting at 1 and going up through each of the parts and the epilogue too. I did not indent the epilogue though, I wanted it to look unique from the rest of the book and, though I know they are important, I hate the way paragraph indents look. I chose a Nimbus sans font for the whole book because it’s easy to read and really uses the line space. I used a Palantino for the Part, Epilogue and Title font. Not that any of that really matters. I’m a book designer, I can’t help it, so sue me.
Putting the Monster back together. Snout to Tail.
I wanted to remain consistent and organized while still having the book line up (you can imagine that some things happen in Osondrous’ story that can’t happen until other things happen in Karalay’s story etc.). At first I started Part 2 WAY too early and that helped me absolutely determine how the book was going to go. It would be Karalay, Osondrous/Constance, Jezaline and then all three of them one more time. So two parts from each of their stories for every part of the book.
The worst moment was when I realized I hadn’t been using enough of Osondrous’ story and well before she became queen Karalay was responding to the fact that she had become queen (a very vital happening in my book). So I had to take from Osondrou’s story in part four and add it in to part three and take from part three and add that in to part two to get her story to line up properly again. I knew people would be reading more from Osondrous’ part but, because I had to go back and shift her story around, I’m left anxious and worried on how the whole thing is going to read.
In the last rewrite of my book I broke entirely out of any system I had and just jumped between the girls as I saw fit. I like this way better. It feels stronger, I just hope it actually is.
So, happy new year to me!!
I am continuing in the last read through of my beast put all back together again. It is 330 eight and half by eleven pages and 181,000 words. At first I was down that it was still that high in word count but I just did the numbers and I ended up cutting over 55,000 words from the book! That’s a NaNoWriMo! So I am excited and feel good about the work I’ve done and about my monster. I have already read through the first ten pages and cut some and edited some. It read just fine and I can’t wait to get it printed in lulu and given to my aunt, my mom and my boyfriend.
Doubt
I’m terrified. I know that you can’t allow fear of failing to stop you from trying. But what if they don’t like my book when they read it? This is absolutely the best I can do right now. Period. This is as good a writer as I can be and if this isn’t this great, after all of this work, I will be devastated.
Keep it in perspective, Ta!
Of course, that is what I need to do. My book might not make anybody cry or even care much but I do believe it’s a fine book and it is so close to finished. I started this thing ten years ago and I’ve never felt this good about it before. I am truly entering the edit stage now and I will report back. I hope I will say in my next post, at least:
That it’s not too bad.
Other thoughts: I hate every word processor on the market. Hate. I have tried every program for writers in existance and none of them come close to what I actually need. I use Open Office and it is an absolutely fabulous text editor and it is free! But for putting a novel together none of them work for me. Most novel writing software forces you to save chapters separately etc. I hate that. (Yes, I’m going to be using the word hate a lot) So I’ve always ended up back in Open Office with my whole book in one massive document (like right now).
All I want, and I finally, truly, figured it out last night, is a tab system. I want down on side by the scroll bar there to be tabs that I can add that will jump me to certain parts of the book. I would like to create a tab for every part of my book so if I want to go to Part Four I just click the tab and I’m there (instead of scrolling for hours, that’s basically all I did last night scroll). I want to be able to create a tab for important moments, for all of Karalay, Osondrous and Jezaline’s parts of the story etc. Is this too much to ask??
One day I will design the perfect text editor for writers.
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